“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”

Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum, said that; and this is to affirm the point that heartbreak is completely unavoidable; and then Oscar Wilde added, the heart is meant to be broken. This is a fact that you can't hide from and you can't run away from either, but you can be aware and prepare your heart. 

Heartbreak is real, physical and emotional. The same area that's active when you suffer from physical pain also goes haywire when you suffer personal rejection, says psychiatric Dr. Marcelle Stastny. It is a feeling easily recognized by nearly everyone on earth, and closely associated by loss, disappointment, rejection, betrayal, and guilt to name a few.

As inevitable as heartbreak can be , there is a level of awareness that we can bring ourselves to understanding the reasons why we get hurt and broken and completely out of touch. 

This is when payment is made for the attraction that you both feel in the form of money, sex and time. Your time, money and emotion are invested in the relationship and overtime this is recycled and somehow the circle continues
It is a common notion believed by a small group that the man in a relationship should be the figure head when it comes to finances. The man makes the money and the woman spends it. In fact some believe that a truly wealthy man is a man who can make more money than the wife can spend. If you are in this kind of relationship where the man does all the spending and you are at the receiving end, chances are that you feel, consciously or unconsciously, being showered with gifts and money is the reward for the love that you show your partner. Now, in a situation where the man becomes unable to fulfill this one responsibility of being responsible for your finances, chances are that issues will arise little by little that will lead to exchange of harsh words which would both open your eyes to the reality of things.

The idea of relationship, basically love making, has been long misconstrued as to mean payment for passion rather than feelings expressed for shared passion. And where such situation is the case, it is more or less a matter of time for a partner to realize that the weight of the relationships rest solely on one person. Sex is good, very good in a manner of speaking and as hot as the fire burns, it burns down, after which reality sets in. When this happens, as humans, we always want more-more sex, more reason, more purpose and sex can't just be the only passion. Relationship is a two way street, a thing two people are involved in and whatsoever comes out of it should be between the two and not just one person.  There has to be more, there has to be a shared value between both partners, much more than just sex. With every love making, more emotion is invested and, the more the emotion the more the chances of a heartbreak.

Attraction is the flame that burns when two people are interested in each other. Love at first sight is the lie we tell our hearts when we feel attracted to someone only after seeing them for the first time. Being attracted to someone is a common occurrence in our everyday life but falling in love almost immediately may be borne out of loneliness, desperation, or looking through a familiar screen. Only ignorance will make a man feel he is in love by just seeing a person for the first time. I stand to be corrected though, but to be in love means to know someone enough to accept them just the way they are, irrespective of their negative sides. It is possible to love someone who reminds you of another almost immediately but this is borne out an earlier affection for the person being thought of. Love is much more than feelings, it is deeper than attraction. Where this attraction has been achieved and judged for being love, heartbreak is almost close by.

In the same vein, when two people who are close and attracted to each other, and who sometimes share one or two values, but have an undefined relationship, it is only fair to say they are leaving a room for heartbreak.
There shouldn't be any assumption as to where you stand in your partner's life and you shouldn't have to wonder and ask questions regarding your position. Letting go is not as hard as holding onto something unreal, something that only entices and doesn't hold water. No one goes out to ask another if he is a boy or a girl, you just know. Our instincts most of the time don't steer us wrong, and so if there is any confusion as to your relationship, you should sit your partner down and clear the air otherwise you are headed for pain and emotional torture.

Others include, Loneliness and depression and seeking too much attention. Being desperate and needy, Insensitivity to the needs of your partner, distrust, suspicion, jealousy and pettiness, low self-esteem, seeing your partner with the old screen and judging them alike.

Relationship is a big deal so losing oneself only to find it and losing it again is mind wrenching. One bad relationship can make someone never to want to give love a chance. Cultivate yourself, know what you want, be aware and know your limit. Surrendering and giving your all to someone is a risky business and so understanding and knowing your reason should be very pertinent. You always attract your type, so do well to build yourself to the person you want to become, be more confident and know your worth and by so doing you will know what you want from a partner and make the most of any relationship.



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