Every relationship has a shot caller, a CEO, the person who sits at the helm of its affairs. This is difficult to accept but its the truth. No ship can survive the high sea if there is two captain piloting it, one person going left and the other person finding right. The world is big enough for everyone yet too small to have everyone running it. But no relationship starts off like that, in fact most relationship starts off by an unspoken arrangement between two people agreeing to sharing control and sharing pleasure.

Being in a relationship is a big deal, everyone knows this and it takes a great deal of hard work to run it. To have two people from two different background and expecting not to run into one form of argument or another is the first form of disaster anyone can encounter. This disasters can only be properly averted by masters who understands that every relationship has its flaws and no one has the solution one hundred percent, thereby calling for a balance in control and decision making.

What calls for power one would ask? Why would someone want to take charge of an endeavor where its sheer establishment rests on the shoulder of agreement between two people?  problem Solving. As simple as that sounds providing solution calls for the shift in power. Power is intoxicating and as simply put by Lord Acton, Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
If we know the common problems in a relationship and how every relationship settles it, we can now know how each partner wield this power

Problem solvers are the richest people in the world and more often than not, the richest people have the most power, so lets take a look at the common problems in a relationship that causes the shift in power

For some this starts off slowly and gradually builds up. In the period leading to being madly in love someone loved first, and usually people who love first often are the ones more into the other person. It is not rocket science to know that when someone cares more they tend to become "zombie", giving their partner enough control to manipulate their way into decision making and taking charge. Sadly the one who loves and cares the least calls the shot and is in control.

NO one follows their advice, or at least very few people do. It is easier to say 'forgive and forget' all wrongs done to you than actually forgiving and forgetting. it takes a while to build trust but only a sec to destroy it. When a partner errs most of the time, especially a partner who cheated and got caught or lied , power is transferred to the one who needs to forgive the wrong done to them. This is where most people take charge because the one who erred becomes indebted and owes an apology. The man who owes is always indebted to the one who is being owed

 IT would look as though the person who calls more loves more and cares more but that isn't always the case.In a relationship, most people call because somehow it has become an unspoken debt owed that needs to be paid on a daily, otherwise one would be called out. One would argue that it doesn't really matter who calls more or who checks up on the other often but what happens if he/she doesn't call as often?

Just like metal parts in relationship requiring periodic lubrication, every relationship requires some form of attention or another otherwise rust would set in and like metals with rust if not attended to, would result to damage of some sort. The problem with attention is one has to give while the other receives. The one who requires more attention than another is ordinarily willing to give has the least amount of control, and thereby power to control.

Anger is a dangerous thing to experience in a relationship and more often than not you will see people who are easily angered in one. Every little misunderstanding someone goes off the handle and the other is at their whim begging and pleading for them to calm down. The thing about 'begging' in a relationship is that once started it is almost impossible to stop because somehow that becomes your 'corner' in the relationship

A relationship like an establishment has to have someone to run it though on the ground of mutual agreement, someone usually has the upper hand. But the key to having a certain amount of power in a relationship is for such power to be evenly shared and distributed among all stakeholders, giving each control in more areas than one. Responsibility is key. Responsibility gives one a certain amount of power.



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